Hipsters get a lot of hate. You can spot them a mile away, with their beards, their glasses, their skinny jeans or flowery skirts. I also acknowledge that I may be the worst offender of all; a wannabe hipster. So as a disclaimer, this is meant in jest and not to offend. And now that’s out of the way, onto the list!
1. No one likes a lukewarm (soy) latte (from an independent coffee shop) in the face.
2. You may be forced to listen to a song they’ve written about the intensity of their feelings regarding the manner in which you hurt their emotions. In the style of Brazilian folk-jazz fusion.
3. Your twitter feed will be inundated by tweets with the hashtag “uncool”.
4. They will bake you gluten-free, vegan friendly brownies in an attempt to demonstrate how “cool they are with your feelings”.
5. They will un-invite you to their nineties themed DJ set.
6. They will write a blog post stating that everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and actions. Then they will detail why yours are wrong.
7. It’s never pretty seeing a grown adult attempt to make themselves cry to demonstrate how “in touch with their emotions they are”.
8. Because a granddad cardigan is never pretty – especially not one covered in snot. (see above).
9. They may attempt to try and discover the motivation behind your mean behaviour. And how they can be resolved.
10. They will ostracise you from Hipster society, forcing you to a life half lived on Starbucks lattes and chain store brands.
Happy Christmas guys!